What a Fine Milkman You'll Make

No matter what time we put The Boy to bed, no matter how many naps he takes during the day, no matter when we feed and bath him, he consistently wakes up between 5:30 and 6:30 every morning. It's been like this for months now, and short of going to bed ourselves at 8:30, we're not getting a ton of sleep.

We've tried scheduling his naps, bedtimes, meals, snacks, baths at different times, but the results are always the same. Bed at 7:30? Up at 5:30. Bed at 9:00? Up at 6:00. I'm tempted to keep him up till 4:00 am, just to see what happens (because it's just like me to jeopardize my son's health to test a theory).

We don't even set our alarm clocks anymore, he's that consistent. So instead of the waking up to the buzz of the alarm, now our mornings are punctuated with the loud sounds of a whining baby, usually followed by a "Fuck" from P or me. We're going to keep trying things to see if we can get him to sleep just a little be longer in the mornings, but deep down I think this is just the way it's going to be for the next while.

It was Ben Franklin who once said, "Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise." Ooooo I so much want to bitch-slap Ben right now.