The Jasper Chronicles

The Journal of a Cynical Dad

Sunday, March 05, 2006

Shoot Me Now

It's Oscar Night, and I'm sitting in front of the TV with The Boy showing him first hand why the Oscars suck. The only reason reason the TV is even on is because Jon Stewart is hosting the show, and doing much better than David Letterman I might add. Come to think of it, the last time I watched the Oscars was when Letterman was the host.

We're huge Daily Show fans, so we think the Jon Stewart bits are great, very funny. Then Jon introduces the President of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences and the show goes downhill from there. This is EXACTLY why the Oscars suck so much. I mean really, who the f*** cares who the President is, and what he has to say. There are only six categories anyone cares about:
  1. Best Actor
  2. Best Supporting Actor
  3. Best Actress
  4. Best Supporting Actress
  5. Best Director
  6. Best Picture
Everything else is a wank. I'm not saying that these sound editors, focus pullers, best grips, clipboard holders and coffee go-getters don't deserve recognition, They do, it's just incredibly boring to watch. Then toss in the tributes, film montages and acknowledgment to people who mean nothing and we've got ourselves three long hours of uninspired television.

Six categories, Six winners. The show could be packaged and over in half an hour. Batta Bing, Batta Bong.