The Jasper Chronicles

The Journal of a Cynical Dad

Monday, July 31, 2006

A Conversation Only Parents Would Have

P: Did he poo?
Me: Yeah, a little one.
P: Maybe he's growing, so the body is using more of the food.
Me: His body is absorbing shit? I mean shouldn't the amount of waste still be the same?
P: Well he hasn't had a significant poop for days.
Me: Huh.

I have had more poo discussions with other parents than just about any other topic. Right after "How old is he/she?" and "What's his/her name?"

"So, how's the poo?"

Good thing I'm not single, this is the sort of conversation would be a serious buzz-kill at a Speed Dating event.

"Hi I'm _____. Nice to meet you."


"I work in Marketing."


"Interesting. Oh hey, my son crapped his diaper three times today. Huge turds."


"So, I guess you don't have any kids then."