The Jasper Chronicles

The Journal of a Cynical Dad

Monday, January 01, 2007

The Christmas Gorilla

Happy New Year!

The family had a great holiday season, I barely cracked open my powerbook the entire time, which explains the long absence from blogging. Hanging out with family, friends, P and The Boy; yeah that's what the holidays is about, spending time with the ones you care about.

We spent the days in and around Christmas over at my parents this year. We don't get over there often, so everyone was excited to see The Boy. Sure they were happy to see P and me too, but we're a distant second compared to him. He was showered with attention and lapped up every second of it. Between time spent playing with relatives, The Boy danced with a monkey, or a gorilla to be precise.

Q: How do you eat your shortbread when there's an gorilla in the room?
A: With earplugs on.

For some reason my parents have a dancing, Macarena-singing gorilla in their house. It's triggered by noise, so it would make an ideal alarm system (if anything will make thieves leave your house in a hurry, it would be that song). But instead it sits on top of my father's dresser.

I don't get the thinking behind the gorilla. Not only does it sing and dance to easily the worst song of the 90's, it sports a jaunty red tank-top with a number 23 on the front. Is it supposed to be in a dance contest? Not much of contest seeing the gorilla would win by default every time, what with it tearing the other contestants limbs off and all.

The fact the gorilla sings the Macarena over and over is bad enough. it's doubly annoying because there's no volume control, it's just set to loud. Watch the video and see for yourself. The sound isn't dubbed in, that's really how loud it sings.

Watch The Monkey (Quicktime Required)

If you have trouble, try viewing the video here.

Cute isn't it? Believe me, it's much less cute after four straight days of it. The entire visit I sat praying for the batteries to die. Unfortunately the gorilla not only sings and dances, it's very energy efficient too. Stupid Monkey. I've never been so glad to be home.