The Jasper Chronicles

The Journal of a Cynical Dad

Thursday, January 04, 2007

See Ya Boys

This morning at 4:30 AM P woke up retching. The very first thing that raced through my mind was, "I better go see if she's okay." Immediately followed by, "Shit, I hope she's not pregnant!"

Yes, as much as The Boy is a total blast, and as much fun as we're having being parents, we're going to stop at one. We've thought long and hard about having a second, weighed the pros and cons of raising a single child (there are as many good reasons for as there are against), and talked to parents who experienced both scenarios, so we haven't come to this decision lightly. We just feel our temperaments are better suited to being the parents of one child instead of two.

So lately talk has revolved around the "V' word, that's V as in vasectomy. Holy crap, it hurts already! According to my doctor, the procedure is now non-surgical, which makes absolutely no sense to me. How can it possibly be non-surgical? Doesn't there have to be some sort of inscision? What happens instead, the doctor kicks me in the nuts really hard? And what if the procedure doesn't take? "Yes, we need to repeat the procedure, please book another appointment for a second kick in the nuts."

Whatever the method I'm told they use a local anesthetic and the whole process takes about an hour. Local anesthetic? Give me a general anesthetic! Cripes, I want to be unconscious if someone is going to cut into my ball-sack.