The Jasper Chronicles

The Journal of a Cynical Dad

Monday, July 28, 2008

Hands On Training

(I swear this will be the last Potty Post for a while.)

The Boy has been diaperless for almost two months now. In most respects potty training is going very well - the basics are there, we just need to work on style, or more specifically his aim.

Parents of boys can relate. If he stands up to pee, he fires it everywhere. Down his leg, on the floor, behind the toilet, on his shoes, on my shoes, onto his underwear. I've been trying to instruct him on the finer points of peeing like a man

- Hold onto it.
- Aim away from your shoes.
- Thrust your hips forward.
- It's like a water gun.

I'm lucky if he hits the bowl 30% of the time.

Now I've bathed and changed him hundreds of times, but for some reason I refuse to hold onto his penis and give him a hands-on demonstration. It's not like I'm squeamish or anything, it just seems wrong.


This morning The Boy grabbed a book, hopped onto the toilet and asked for some privacy. A knock on the door received, "Nobody here." as a response. After 10 minutes we decided we better poke our heads in to check.

There he was, sitting on the can, contently reading.

Didn't take him long to discover the best reading room in the house did it?