The Jasper Chronicles

The Journal of a Cynical Dad

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

How Long Before Toilet Training?

The Boy turned one on Sunday (more on that in a later post) and right on schedule he is getting close to walking. He's cruising everywhere, and can more or less stand without support. While one of the a coolest milestones so far, it is not without consequence.

Like all learning walkers, he has taken his fair share of tumbles, spills and splats; he's got the bruises to prove it. The bruises I can deal with - I don't like to see The Boy hurt himself but I have to accept it's a childhood rite of passage. No I have more of a problem when he falls backwards onto his ass.

Imagine if you will, a packet of ketchup, and a hammer coming down onto that packet. The packet bursts and ketchup squirts all over the place. Now imagine a diaper full of poo, and 21 pounds of butt-cheek slamming down onto that poo. Yeah, it's got to go somewhere, and that somewhere usually means all over the inside of the diaper pants. Fortunately the diaper pants have managed to hold it all in, but I have to admit I take a quick look at his thighs every time he falls back.

What a mess. The Flushies I swore by only a few months ago aren't doing much good anymore. No every time the poo escapes diaper containment I pretty much have to stand over the toilet and scrape the diaper clean*. It's as fun as it sounds.

If there is such thing as Hell, no doubt this will be my eternal fate.

*Why do we scrape the diaper? We use cloth diapers and don't want a full-on shitty diaper festering for a week in the diaper pail. So we scrape off as much poo as we can first.