The Jasper Chronicles

The Journal of a Cynical Dad

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Can't Escape It

The Boy has a cold, and I'm trying to buck the "Kid Sick - Parents Sick" trend. I figure I can pull this off if I just avoid his face as much as possible; the goodnight kiss is going to be planted squarely on the top of his head until he recovers. Yesterday my strategy went out the window.

We're on the bed playing The Boy's favourite game, "Hop-On-Pop" with a special emphasis on "Knee-to-Throat" and "Elbow-In-Eye".

Me: (After a bruising head-butt) Okay, okay, let's take a break. Dad's a little sore
The Boy: Woof, Woof, I a doggy. Woof.

Then he proceeds to lick my face.

Crap! My plan! Must act fast!

Me: Good doggy. Hey, how about a snake? What does a snake do?
TB: Ssssss.... Ssssss... I a snake.

Then he proceeds to lick my face.


Me: Uh... I don't think snakes lick people.
TB: Sssss... Look out, snake coming...

[Lick Lick]

Me: Airplane! What does a airplane do?
TB: Roooommm... Roooommm... Roooommm... I airpane

First time I've ever flown where licking is part of the check-in procedure. Better than a cavity search I suppose, but at least I'd avoid getting sick that way.