The Jasper Chronicles

The Journal of a Cynical Dad

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Hardest Lesson So Far

Last night I killed a fly. The Boy saw me.

TB: What you doing Dad?

Me: [Shit] I, uh, killed a fly.

TB: Why did you do that?

I was stumped. On one hand we teach The Boy to be friendly to animals. On the other hand, pests like flies need swatting.

I looked down at his innocent face and decided the best thing to do would be to confuse him.

Me: Because, uh... sometimes you got to be cruel to be kind.

The Boy furrowed his brow a bit, but seemed satisfied with the answer.

I wonder if I can take the same approach when he starts asking me about sex?

TB: Dad, in school today Billy says a man sticks his thingy inside a woman. Is that true?

Me: Well, you know son, you've got to be cruel to be kind.

I like it!

Monday, May 26, 2008

They're Back.

And you didn't even know they left.

P and The Boy returned home on the weekend from a two-week visit with the Grandparents. Which in some ways explains why I haven't posted anything on my blog in over a month.

I suppose spending the entire two-week break in my underwear, eating Chef Boy-R-Dee and sharing with you the scintillating details of my life was an option; I did other stuff instead.

Mostly I built things - a shed, screens, a shelf and extended the patio. The rest of the time was spent on a couple of small renos around the house. Sitting at my computer in Spaghetti-O covered underwear probably would have been more fun, but not nearly as rewarding.

Life with The Boy continues to be a hoot, and there are lots of stories to share, but for now I'll leave you with this.

While waiting for the plane on Saturday, The Boy felt compelled to tell people, "I have a gun." He said it in that adorable two-year-old way, but still, I'm surprised he didn't get Tasered.